My Life is .... Unicorns?

My life is just terrible. Last night I was brought to a mystical goblin hole. They were maturbating in synch with one another. They then got me and tied me to their mystical tree of life. They worship some kind of strange in the shape of a giant douche. One of the goblins began to sing a barry white song and at one stage he took shape of a unicorn. They started their ritual and whipped me with sticks and made me eat their pubes. One Goblin called Uranis started to take him clothes and all of them started to eat ben n jerrys (Phish Food, Yum). Suddenly, a man in a baby grow started to perform the sacred **** dance in which one person smears **** on their *** and another licks it off while listening to the best of britney spears. They started to untie me and led me to a mystical mushroom tree where i found a dead squirrel..... then a ated it hehe. Then those douche bag newbs started to troll on my ***. They ain't gangster. Then all of a sudden, I woke up and it was a dream .. then i discovered that i had my period and herpes. My boyfriend is fried chicken and he love me longtime. LOL.